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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Once again

Well, I have written only 3 posts this year so far. I have a lot of catching up to do.

I want to be a standup comedian. Or a cook. Or a writer. Or a minister. Or a bum. I really don't know.

The thing is I want to do something, and it doesn't matter what yet. It is better to be concerned about living your life than it is to worry about dying. Everybody dies. If you go into every situation knowing full well that nobody makes it out of living alive, then you can succeed at something more important than success. You will try stuff. You will live.

There is a line between humility and self deprecation. Between selflessness and stupidity. I think it is better to err on the side of selflessness. I would love to live in a place I would never want to live in. I want to experience the reality of harshness that is life. The idea that I deserve comfort that I have any rights , it is fabricated. Paul says:
"But by the grace of God I am what I am."

I am nothing without God. The idea of self sufficiency and self reliance is a cultural lie. God calls us to a life of depending on Him to provide, to lead, to be our source of knowledge.

I don't hate to contradict what the world has told me my whole life. My duty, my joy in life, my privilege is to serve God. I think that most people, Christians and non-Christians alike, seem to believe their lives are their own. Then we find that not to be true. Christ stood up to the idolatry of thinking of ourselves more highly than we ought.

I find the true act of being humble is not easy. Christianity is damned hard, but saves us from being damned. I think that is a pretty good deal.

I don't feel like I am perfect. Because I don't act like I am perfect. The truth is, God looks down at me and sees perfection. I am covered by His love. When Christ interceded, He said, "Hey dad, these guys, yeah the ones who accept this gift, they are with me. So don't punish them."

Jesus is the kid whose dad owns the window we broke with our ball. And he is taking the punishment we deserve and we get off scott free. Even though we used to mock him and give him wedgies. Now, not only should we feel obliged to be his friend.. we begin to want to be his friend.

And wait, it gets better. His dad sees that we are orphans, abandoned by the world. And he offers us a room and a place at the table. So now we have this amazing best friend and then his dad swoops in and adopts us. Which means we get all the same special privileges that come with being the children of the owner of the mansion.

So do you see that, even though we do mess up, I do mess up, God, our father, looks at us and says, "I love you, my child." He cares so much that he forgives us. He wants to help us with everything, every aspect of our lives. And as we grow closer to him, we realize how much we want to be like him because he is our dad, and he's just so cool.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Been a long, long time

I have not blogged in 24 days. That is not acceptable. I need to be consistent. I need to write a blog at least once a week. Taking long breaks, it just won't do. I don't know what to say anymore. I have nothing to complain about. Maybe its just too easy to say nothing.
It comforts me to know that I have not lost the ability to write, but my writing muscles have surely atrophied. I was so dejected for the month I was jobless. I hate searching, and I quit going at it after 2 weeks. I lay in my bed. I just drowned myself in entertainment and church. The passage that got me through was the Sermon on the Mount. It takes the world and all its wisdom, and flips it on its head. It tells you how to be happy while you are on this planet.

This is what it means to me.

You must see that you are nothing, to begin understanding everything.
You must experience the lows of life, so that the highs feel that much more spectacular. Also, compassion is born of empathy. You must feel sorrow to comfort the broken.
You must give up what rights you are entitled to if you want to possess all the things you need.
You must desire to be good, and you will be good.
You must forgive others and yourself, and that mercy will be returned.
You must hate evil and hold onto what is good as though your life depended on it, and then you will see what is right and pure.
You must be wholeheartedly committed to reconciliation and to living peaceably with others and yourself, then you will belong to the family that never leaves you.
You must allow yourself to be hated and scorned, mocked and ridiculed; you will begin to understand everything.

If you hate, you have killed. If you break one rule, you break them all. What is in your heart is reflected by your behavior. Love the people who do not love you. Give them what they do not deserve. When you commit, do not go back on your word. Think before you agree to something.

I know that there is peace available, and joy. We must trust in divine timing. We must delight ourselves in the sovereignty of a loving God.