It comforts me to know that I have not lost the ability to write, but my writing muscles have surely atrophied. I was so dejected for the month I was jobless. I hate searching, and I quit going at it after 2 weeks. I lay in my bed. I just drowned myself in entertainment and church. The passage that got me through was the Sermon on the Mount. It takes the world and all its wisdom, and flips it on its head. It tells you how to be happy while you are on this planet.
This is what it means to me.
You must see that you are nothing, to begin understanding everything.
You must experience the lows of life, so that the highs feel that much more spectacular. Also, compassion is born of empathy. You must feel sorrow to comfort the broken.
You must give up what rights you are entitled to if you want to possess all the things you need.
You must desire to be good, and you will be good.
You must forgive others and yourself, and that mercy will be returned.
You must hate evil and hold onto what is good as though your life depended on it, and then you will see what is right and pure.
You must be wholeheartedly committed to reconciliation and to living peaceably with others and yourself, then you will belong to the family that never leaves you.
You must allow yourself to be hated and scorned, mocked and ridiculed; you will begin to understand everything.
If you hate, you have killed. If you break one rule, you break them all. What is in your heart is reflected by your behavior. Love the people who do not love you. Give them what they do not deserve. When you commit, do not go back on your word. Think before you agree to something.
I know that there is peace available, and joy. We must trust in divine timing. We must delight ourselves in the sovereignty of a loving God.